Glastonbury 2002 - Thursday

United Kingdom | by John Bownas, Sara Bowrey | 27 June 2002

Take it from us - the road to Glastonbury is paved with cow-poo whether you are a punter or a pundit. Small rules enforced by small people with small minds left us wandering in the wilderness outside the now legendary fence with torn tickets and backstage wristbands...but no pass-out passes.

'You haven't come out yet mate, so I'm sorry - you can't come in.'

Twisted logic from twisted minds!

But never fear dear ticketless friends - reading this in your offices and spare bedrooms - we have entered the holy of holys and we will trudge relentlessly through Glastonbury's fields, glades and nether regions in search of news and strange activity for your delight and frustration. For those of you reading this next week ... we hope our tales of Glastonbury 2002 echo your vague memories of this perfect weekend-to-be.

We can already give you the following scoops and exclusives direct from the mouths of very reliable equine characters lurking in backstage hospitality:-

1. The Queen will definitely NOT be the special guest performer, despite petitions to the palace that the national institution that is Glastonbury really should have featured on the Jubilee World Tour 2002.

2. Prince Edward may well be asked to take up the reigns of the media circus in future years, as the current encumbent of the position feels that the Royal touch is just what is needed to add some vim and vigour to the event's image.

3. Michael Eavis genuinely believes that televising Glastonbury is 'for the good of humanity' - so there!!

4. The VF crewman who stole the golf buggy and drove with reckless abandon around backstage tents occupied by luminaries such as Joe Strummer (and less eminent characters - Keith Allen, despite much self-publicity springs to mind) will almost certainly be barred from all future festivals, gigs, events and garden parties until further notice and a full investigation by Scotland Yard!