Zoo Thousand and Eight: Rated!

United Kingdom | | 07 July 2008

Zoo Thousand and Eight, Port Lympne Wildlife Park, Kent. 04-06 July.

Overall - 3/10

Zoo Thousand and Eight had more than its fair share of first festival jitters. Time restraints led to the culling of two acts from each stage before the gates even opened and then a quarter of the billed acts just didn't get to play at all. Dizzee Rascal, Wiley, Skinnyman and The Rascals are among the bands that were simply nowhere to be seen, but the surprisingly fantastic weather did provide some much-needed relief, while a trip to the adjoining zoo was the perfect antidote to any frustrations. Old festival favourites like Ash and The Cribs proved to be predictable crowd-pleasers on the main stage, but it is the quirky Tap 'n' Tin tent that grabbed the most attention. Hardcore bands like Gallows, Fucked Up and The Ghost Of A Thousand spent the weekend energising crowds and showing them that punk is back.

Getting There and Back - 3/10

The official website promised a free 20-minute shuttle bus from Ashton International to the Port Lympne Wildlife Park, but they stopped running just two hours after the festival opened. But the buses were the just tip of the iceberg when it came to the weekend's poor organisation with some ticket holders left waiting outside for up to five hours to collect wristbands and get into the campsite. For a festival with a capacity of just 15,000, the queues were unacceptable. Queues at festivals are inevitable, especially on the opening day, but there were lines of day ticket holders are still snaking from the entrance on both Saturday and Sunday afternoon.
 
The Site - 4/10
The Zoo -10/10

The name of the festival is a little misleading because the event itself is next door to a zoo and not actually in one. A festival wristband allowed entry to the zoo for half price, which provided a welcome relief from the normal non-stop onslaught of the festival world. The wildlife park was overwhelming, boasting the biggest gorilla sanctuary in the world and offering panoramic views of the Kent coast. Safari trails were also available over the weekend for those who wanted to jump into a jeep and see lions, black rhinos, zebras and giraffes close up.

The festival site itself was adequate, and relatively flat, which meant there were no painful hills to trudge up. However it did suffer from a lack of identity. Nothing distinguished it from any other small festival apart from the abundance of garish fairground rides and the pretentious VIP bar, which was only really distinguishable by its slightly nicer toilets.

Atmosphere - 3/10

Bad organisation created a tense atmosphere over the weekend, especially with the cancellation of bands. The longer the festival went on, the more acts ended up dropping out. Some refused to play, others weren't given a stage, and the nail in the coffin was the Tap 'n' Tin tent's closure on the Saturday morning due to a safety hazard. Shutting the stage meant the crowd turned sour and restless as they were left without music for two hours. However the tent erupted when Kid Harpoon reopened the stage in a blaze of glory - the low point of the closure making the high point of his set even finer.

Uppers:

The Zoo
As well as being a zoo, Port Lympne Wildlife Park runs a conservation group that breeds rare lions, tigers and gorillas to try and stop them from becoming extinct. It's stately home and restaurants were a blissful hideaway from the fast paced festival.

Bouncers
The bouncers in the Tap 'n' Tin Tent really let people have all the fun they wanted. The mosh pits wouldn't have been allowed anywhere else, let alone in a tent, though it may have had something to do with Saturday's closure.

Music:

Gallows- 9/10
Gallows front man Frank Carter stormed on stage and made it his duty to name, shame and blame Mark Ronson for the band cuts on Friday (according to Carter, Ronson spent five hours sound checking). His volatile energy carried through the show with 'Abandon Ship' prompting the crowd to literally climb the walls (or the metal poles holding up the tent). Carter then grabbed a fire extinguisher and soaks the crowd, before the band perform 'Orchestra Of Wolves' cementing their infallible stage presence.

Ash- 8/10
Everybody in Britain must know the words to at least one Ash song and their hit-after-hit set on the Saturday night set proved it. 'Girl From Mars', 'Oh Yeah' and 'Kung Fu' showcase the band's karaoke credentials but their choice to air a new track for the finale brought the crowd back down to Earth - festivals are about sticking to the hits.

Fucked Up 8/10
Watching a large topless man screaming at the top of his lungs may not sound that appealing, but Fucked Up's frontman Damian Abraham quashed that presumption over the weekend. Abraham spent most of the time on the dance floor and mind-blowing finale 'Looking For Gold' was his cue to abandon his role as singer and join the pit himself.

Metronomy 7/10
Metronomy brought something a little different to Friday's line-up, which was mainly electro-free. The band would've benefited from a later slot as their tracks are usually best heard in a rave setting, but it did make it easier to see (and copy) their synchronised dance routines. The trio left 'You Could Easily Have Me' until last and the crowd exploded.

Downers:

The Teenagers 4/10
The band used their first single 'Homecoming' as the centre piece of their set, but unfortunately their presumption that the whole crowd knew all the words was a rather silly one. Lead singer Michael Szpiner asked for some cheerleaders before pulling five screaming girls up onto the stage to help him sing it. Though through the microphone two of the gaggle ask, "What are we singing?" after the intro had already begun, leaving one girl to vaguely singing along and the lead singer to frantically shouting out the girls parts.
 
VIP Areas
The fact that you could purchase a VIP ticket completely devalued it in the first place. VIPs are promised showers and a better camping facility, but the showers didn't actually start working and the camping was no different to anyone else's.

Random Events:

Wrestling
No, not the mud kind, but a proper wrestling ring and two young guys who spent the weekend beating the shit out of each other. It was the WWF kind of wrestling so its un-clear whether it was real or not, but it still looked painful.

Smashing Cars
It's as if the organisers knew the event would go tits up and they thought they'd best have something for fans to take their frustrations out on.  So they erected a car on some wooden crates and invited people to destroy it. Inevitably it is turned over and stewards spend most of their time urging people not to set it alight!

By Celeste Adamson